Happy Holidays!
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Happy Holidays from Robot! vs. Ninja!
Here is next week's comic a bit early so you can enjoy it over the holiday weekend.
Happy Holidays!
Happy Holidays!
Monday, December 19, 2005
Monday, December 12, 2005
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Pocky Day Review - Black Sesame & Kinako Soybean Flour
FLAVOR: Kurogoma Black Sesame
NOTES: This pocky has a strong and unusual aroma. I was a bit reluctant to try it, but it was really good! The closest I can describe the flavor is "Honey Nut Cheerios".
RATING: 6 out of 10
FLAVOR: Kinako Soybean Flour
NOTES: This is a subtle taste, and not one I am used to growing up in America. It tasted unlike any other pocky I've had, and more like a Pretz. It had a buttery cracker taste.
RATING: 6 out of 10
Webcomics, short stories, and more @ cartercomics.com
Get more Pocky in the Pocky Archives
Monday, December 05, 2005
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Mecha-Einstein will save us all
This picture really brings up a lot of complex, conflicting feelings and
begs all sorts of maddening torturous questions.
Watch this space, more to come.
Get more ROBOTS in the Robot Archives
Webcomics, short stories, and more @ cartercomics.com
Thursday, November 24, 2005
Monday, November 21, 2005
Saturday, November 19, 2005
Round Robin
I used to answer the phones at MGM. Many, many of the people who called were either dim-witted, insane, or both.
Here are some transcripts of my favorite calls presented for posterity:
Some crazy old lady called and asked for the animation department.
ME: "I'm sorry, we don't have one."
C: "Then what's the number for Hannah Barbara?"
ME:"Why would we have that number?" (this slips out sometimes)
C: "They said you would."
ME: "Who?"
C: "Universal said you would have the number."
ME: "Oh, right. Actually, Warner Brothers will have that number."
C: "Oh. What is the number for Warner Brothers?"
ME: "You can call Miramax for that number."
C: "Okay, thanks..."
CLICK.
Webcomics, short stories, and more @ cartercomics.com
Here are some transcripts of my favorite calls presented for posterity:
Some crazy old lady called and asked for the animation department.
ME: "I'm sorry, we don't have one."
C: "Then what's the number for Hannah Barbara?"
ME:
C: "They said you would."
ME: "Who?"
C: "Universal said you would have the number."
ME: "Oh, right. Actually, Warner Brothers will have that number."
C: "Oh. What is the number for Warner Brothers?"
ME: "You can call Miramax for that number."
C: "Okay, thanks..."
CLICK.
Webcomics, short stories, and more @ cartercomics.com
The Matrix doesn't have you
I used to answer the phones at MGM. Many, many of the people who called were either dim-witted, insane, or both.
Here are some transcripts of my favorite calls presented for posterity:
Ring…Ring…
Me: MGM
Angry Caller: Who IS THIS?! (That is the most common response I receive when someone calls up MGM and I answer “MGM”, by the way.)
ME: MGM.
AC: Who is this, what department is this?
ME: This is reception. How may I direct your call?
AC: Put me through to the people who made the Matrix!
ME: Sorry, we didn’t make The Matrix.
AC: Well WHO DID?!
ME: Sorry, you’ll have to look that up for yourself.
AC: Well why can’t you just tell me?
ME: That’s not our movie, you’ll have to look that up yourself.
AC: Well why can’t you just tell me?
ME: You’ll have to look that up yourself.
AC: Why won’t you tell me?
ME: Why don’t you look it up yourself?
AC: Well what department can I call, who do I call?
ME: Why do you have to call anyone? You can find this information easily anywhere.
AC: I have to find out who made The Matrix. You’re a production person, why don’t you tell me?
ME: Uh, you’ll have to look it up yourself. You can get just about any magazine at a newsstand and get this information.
AC: I have a newsstand! I have a newspaper! It doesn’t say who made it!
ME: Well, it will only take a short time to find this information.
AC: I don’t have a short time, I’m dying!
ME: It will still be easy to find out on your own.
AC: But you know, so why won’t you won’t tell me?
ME: Uh…You’ll have to look that up for yourself.
AC: Chicken sh*t.
CLICK
Webcomics, short stories, and more @ cartercomics.com
Here are some transcripts of my favorite calls presented for posterity:
Ring…Ring…
Me: MGM
Angry Caller: Who IS THIS?! (That is the most common response I receive when someone calls up MGM and I answer “MGM”, by the way.)
ME: MGM.
AC: Who is this, what department is this?
ME: This is reception. How may I direct your call?
AC: Put me through to the people who made the Matrix!
ME: Sorry, we didn’t make The Matrix.
AC: Well WHO DID?!
ME: Sorry, you’ll have to look that up for yourself.
AC: Well why can’t you just tell me?
ME: That’s not our movie, you’ll have to look that up yourself.
AC: Well why can’t you just tell me?
ME: You’ll have to look that up yourself.
AC: Why won’t you tell me?
ME: Why don’t you look it up yourself?
AC: Well what department can I call, who do I call?
ME: Why do you have to call anyone? You can find this information easily anywhere.
AC: I have to find out who made The Matrix. You’re a production person, why don’t you tell me?
ME: Uh, you’ll have to look it up yourself. You can get just about any magazine at a newsstand and get this information.
AC: I have a newsstand! I have a newspaper! It doesn’t say who made it!
ME: Well, it will only take a short time to find this information.
AC: I don’t have a short time, I’m dying!
ME: It will still be easy to find out on your own.
AC: But you know, so why won’t you won’t tell me?
ME: Uh…You’ll have to look that up for yourself.
AC: Chicken sh*t.
CLICK
Webcomics, short stories, and more @ cartercomics.com
Friday, November 18, 2005
Guess who got implants?
I used to answer the phones at MGM. Many, many of the people who called were either dim-witted, insane, or both.
Here are some transcripts of my favorite calls presented for posterity:
ring...ring...Ring…
Me: MGM
Crazy Caller: I need to speak to the President.
M: Which President?
CC: The guy who runs the company.
M: What is this in regards to?
CC: About a movie. About my life.
M: I see. Do you have a script based on your life you want us to make?
CC: Actually they’re already making it. They have recording devices implanted in my body.
M: I see.
CC: Is that you or Universal?
M: Universal is usually the ones who implant devices in people’s bodies. You should try them.
CC: Oh, thanks.
CLICK.
ME: Ha ha, you fool! It was us all along! How do you think we made Legally Blonde 2?!
Webcomics, short stories, and more @ cartercomics.com
Here are some transcripts of my favorite calls presented for posterity:
ring...ring...Ring…
Me: MGM
Crazy Caller: I need to speak to the President.
M: Which President?
CC: The guy who runs the company.
M: What is this in regards to?
CC: About a movie. About my life.
M: I see. Do you have a script based on your life you want us to make?
CC: Actually they’re already making it. They have recording devices implanted in my body.
M: I see.
CC: Is that you or Universal?
M: Universal is usually the ones who implant devices in people’s bodies. You should try them.
CC: Oh, thanks.
CLICK.
ME: Ha ha, you fool! It was us all along! How do you think we made Legally Blonde 2?!
Webcomics, short stories, and more @ cartercomics.com
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Looking for Stephen King
I used to answer the phones at MGM. Many, many of the people who called were either dim-witted, insane, or both.
Here are some transcripts of my favorite calls presented for posterity:
Ring...Ring...
ME: MGM.
ORNERY YOKEL: Yeah, I wanna talk to Stephen King.
ME: Stephen King, the author?
OY: Or his publisher. I have a story.
ME: Uh, sorry, we don’t have any connection with Mr. King.
OY: Then who does?
ME: I have no idea, sir.
OY: This is Hollywood, right?
ME: …yes.
OY: You answered the phone ‘MGM’, right?
ME: Yes, but we don’t have that information, I’m sorry.
OY: But you produce movies, don’t you?
ME: No, we distribute movies. Sorry.
OY: Well put me through to a producer!
ME: We don’t have producers here. But if you want to contact Stephen King or his publisher
I’m sure you could find their contact information on a book and write to them.
OY: I don’t have a Stephen King book!
ME: Okay, but there are hundreds of millions in print, and you could go to a newsstand, or library, or book store and copy down the information on the back.
OY: I don’t have a book! That’s why I’m doing this on the phone!
ME: I understand, sir, but we don’t publish books. We have nothing to do with that. And we are not involved with Rodeo, or Astronauts. We’re a separate business, and we can’t answer your questions. And I can’t transfer you to someone who would.
OY: Yeah, transfer me.
ME: I can’t transfer you.
OY: You just said you could transfer me!
ME: ???? No, you must have misheard me. I said I CAN’T transfer you. There’s no one here who can answer your question. You have to look elsewhere.
OY: Then put me through to somebody else. A producer.
(FAST FORWARD 5 minutes, repeating the above chorus)
ME: Sorry sir, but we do not represent Stephen King.
OY: I don’t wanna talk to Stephen King!
ME: You started this call by saying you wanted Stephen King or his publisher. If I had to guess, I would bet you could find out how to reach him by looking at the back of any of his books.
OY: I’m f*cking illiterate! That’s why I’m doing this over the phone! I’m a goddamned 46 year old functioning illiterate.
Sadly, this call actually happened.
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
Communication Breakdown
I used to answer the phones at MGM. Many, many of the people who called were either dim-witted, insane, or both.
Here are some transcripts of my favorite calls:
Ring…Ring….
ME: MGM.
UNEDUCATED L.A. CALLER: Is Jenneer there?
ME: Jeneer?
ULC: Is Jenneer there?
ME: Jeneer who?
ULC: Um…damn. I don’t know.
ME: What department?
ULC: Um…is he there?
ME: What does he do?
ULC: Gets the records out.
ME: You’re looking for records?
ULC: He gets the records out.
ME: What kind of records?
ULC: Um....you know...Doctor Dre, Eminem.
ME: So he’s in the music department?
ULC: Yeah.
ME: Can you spell that first name for me?
ULC: Jeneer.
ME: Can you spell it for me?
ULC: You know…J – R.
ME: Junior?
ULC: Yeah, Jeneer.
ME; Oh, Junior. Okay, but what’s his real first name? I don’t have anyone listed under ‘Junior’.
ULC: He said that was his name.
ME: Yeah, but I don’t think that’s a legal first name. It’s a nickname. Do you know his name?
ULC: Uh…damn. He’s Hispanic.
ME: Okay.
ULC: He’s 21. Is he there?
ME: I don’t have a list of Hispanic 21 yr olds in front of me.
ULC: Uh…damn. Okay.
CLICK.
RING…RING…
ME: MGM.
MEXICAN CALLER: Uh…MGM?
ME: Yes, MGM.
MC: Uhhhh…Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer?
ME: Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer.
MC: What to for the place different pictures?
ME: …..I’m sorry. I don’t understand your question.
MC: Thank you.
CLICK.
Webcomics, short stories, and more @ cartercomics.com
Here are some transcripts of my favorite calls:
Ring…Ring….
ME: MGM.
UNEDUCATED L.A. CALLER: Is Jenneer there?
ME: Jeneer?
ULC: Is Jenneer there?
ME: Jeneer who?
ULC: Um…damn. I don’t know.
ME: What department?
ULC: Um…is he there?
ME: What does he do?
ULC: Gets the records out.
ME: You’re looking for records?
ULC: He gets the records out.
ME: What kind of records?
ULC: Um....you know...Doctor Dre, Eminem.
ME: So he’s in the music department?
ULC: Yeah.
ME: Can you spell that first name for me?
ULC: Jeneer.
ME: Can you spell it for me?
ULC: You know…J – R.
ME: Junior?
ULC: Yeah, Jeneer.
ME; Oh, Junior. Okay, but what’s his real first name? I don’t have anyone listed under ‘Junior’.
ULC: He said that was his name.
ME: Yeah, but I don’t think that’s a legal first name. It’s a nickname. Do you know his name?
ULC: Uh…damn. He’s Hispanic.
ME: Okay.
ULC: He’s 21. Is he there?
ME: I don’t have a list of Hispanic 21 yr olds in front of me.
ULC: Uh…damn. Okay.
CLICK.
RING…RING…
ME: MGM.
MEXICAN CALLER: Uh…MGM?
ME: Yes, MGM.
MC: Uhhhh…Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer?
ME: Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer.
MC: What to for the place different pictures?
ME: …..I’m sorry. I don’t understand your question.
MC: Thank you.
CLICK.
Webcomics, short stories, and more @ cartercomics.com
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Call of the Day
I used to answer the phones at MGM. Many, many of the people who called were either dim-witted, insane, or both.
Here are some transcripts of my favorite calls presented for posterity:
Call of The Day.
ring...ring...
ME: MGM.
CALLER: Hello, Universal Studios?
ME: No, this is MGM.
CALLER: Is this the theme park?
ME: No, you have the wrong number.
CALLER: Well, can you give me the number?
ME: No...
CALLER: What an @sshle!
CLICK!
Webcomics, short stories, and more @ cartercomics.com
Monday, November 14, 2005
Monday, November 07, 2005
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Robot Uprising
It's finally here - HOW TO SURVIVE A ROBOT UPRISING by Daniel H. Wilson.
Looks like a great read... but does it include these strange Robots?
Elektro - The Cigarette smoking robot from the 1930's. And his little robot dog, too.
The Robot VS. The Aztec Mummy - In this review of the 1960's movie we learn that robots can defend us from Aztec mummies.
Giant Inflatable Robots - These robots from BABO boast 'Ample Massiveness'. Click here for video.
And finally, a Waffle Making Robot. I guess they can't be all that bad.
Get more ROBOTS in the Robot Archives
Webcomics, short stories, and more @ cartercomics.com
Monday, October 31, 2005
Friday, October 28, 2005
Halloween Costume Pictures
Hope you all had a happy and fun halloween - got any pictures to share?
By request, here are pics of my Dad of Frankenstein costume.
Click here to view them
Enjoy!
By request, here are pics of my Dad of Frankenstein costume.
Click here to view them
Enjoy!
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Monster Cake
MONSTER CAKE is a fantastic blog that inspired me to do this Monster a Day project for October.
Check them out!
Webcomics, short stories, and more @ cartercomics.com
Check them out!
Webcomics, short stories, and more @ cartercomics.com
Dyss Orderly
When the sun goes down and the doctors leave, the Dyss roams the halls of hospitals and asylums as an orderly, nurse, or caregiver.
A forgotten creature of chaos, the Dyss feeds on the patient's sanity and leaves behind a vomit slick of fear, confusion and madness.
Webcomics, short stories, and more @ cartercomics.com
Monday, October 24, 2005
Zombies, Vampires, and More Zombies
Wrap your Braaains around these fine and informative sites:
DEAD FUNNY, a vaudeville comic about zombies. Perhaps the only vaudeville comic about zombies.
West Side Story zombie trailer - This proves that the art of the horror movie trailer has been mastered - so be warned the next time a scary trailer appeals to you (example: The Fog, Stay)
Monster Island - This free trilogy of serialized on-line novels about the zombie apocalypse is dangerously addictive.
The Federal Vampire and Zombie Agency - Hard hitting facts and emergency information to help you protect your family. Included is a handy chart about that age old issue:
Zombies vs. Vampires
Webcomics, short stories, and more @ cartercomics.com
DEAD FUNNY, a vaudeville comic about zombies. Perhaps the only vaudeville comic about zombies.
West Side Story zombie trailer - This proves that the art of the horror movie trailer has been mastered - so be warned the next time a scary trailer appeals to you (example: The Fog, Stay)
Monster Island - This free trilogy of serialized on-line novels about the zombie apocalypse is dangerously addictive.
The Federal Vampire and Zombie Agency - Hard hitting facts and emergency information to help you protect your family. Included is a handy chart about that age old issue:
Zombies vs. Vampires
Webcomics, short stories, and more @ cartercomics.com
Sunday, October 23, 2005
Saturday, October 22, 2005
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Aggropus
Descended from the octopus, the Aggropus roams on dry land causing mischief. The Aggropus' favorite past time is inciting road rage. The clever creature uses it's natural chameleon-like skin to appear as a human hand, after which it will cling to the side of a car and make rude gestures.
When not inciting road rage, the Aggropus will invisibly wander through crowded places and grope people. Whether the Aggropus is a parasite that feeds off the bloody havoc it causes or is just mimicking human hands to blend in is unknown.
Webcomics, short stories, and more @ cartercomics.com
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Haunted Houses
If you live in L.A. and want a fantastic directory of haunted houses and fun events, click here .
Webcomics, short stories, and more @ cartercomics.com
Webcomics, short stories, and more @ cartercomics.com
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Bozo Sapien
When hibernating or evading capture, the Bozo Sapien appears grey and drab. Note the pale skin and tightly curled red hair.
When hunting, however, the Bozo Sapien's nose, hands, and feet become engorged with blood and swell up. The neck frill extends along with the red afro. The skin takes on a colorful irridescent sheen, to lure in the Bozo Sapien's primary food source: Children and small pets.
Webcomics, short stories, and more @ cartercomics.com
Monday, October 17, 2005
Sunday, October 16, 2005
The Ghost of Pumpkins Past
When pumpkins are not disposed of properly after Halloween they roam the countryside and derelict pumpkin patches, searching for victims.
Webcomics, short stories, and more @ cartercomics.com
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Evil VHS Tape
With the rapid obsolescence of technology, accursed media such as the 'Evil Tape' will soon no longer pose a threat.
At present, only poor people and luddites are at risk of falling victim to the Evil VHS Tape. Soon these Evil tapes will go the way of the Demonic 8 Track.
Webcomics, short stories, and more @ cartercomics.com
Friday, October 14, 2005
Pythalligator !
The deadly Pythalligator - Part Python, Part Alligator: All Florida!
Due to the population explosion of Burmese Pythons in the Florida Everglades, we've seen an Alligator eat a python, and a Python eat an alligator (and then explode).
But I think it's only a matter of time before they settle their differences long enough to spawn a hideous scaly lovechild.
Webcomics, short stories, and more @ cartercomics.com
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Soul Sucker
The Soul Sucker nestles into electronic monitors and television sets and bathes under flourescent lights. Slow moving, they feed on prey that sits in front of the flickering monitors for hours at a time.
Webcomics, short stories, and more @ cartercomics.com
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Pocky Monster
Happy Pocky Day from the Pocky Monster!
Get more POCKY in the Pocky Archives
Webcomics, short stories, and more @ cartercomics.com
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Demon Pox
In the future biologists will discover the physical mechanics of evil: Demon Pox.
This will free people of responsibility for immoral behaviors - but the punishment for spreading the Demon Pox infection or not taking Penancecillian will be death.
Webcomics, short stories, and more @ cartercomics.com
Monday, October 10, 2005
Electric Boogaloo
Inside every green power box is a raging electric monster waiting to attack!
Webcomics, short stories, and more @ cartercomics.com
Sunday, October 09, 2005
Saturday, October 08, 2005
Rotten Tooth Fairy
October thru January is the busiest time of year for the Rotten Tooth Fairy.
Webcomics, short stories, and more @ cartercomics.com
Friday, October 07, 2005
Vampire Toes
Another of the 31 monsters of Halloween:
In the old country they were called
NOSFERATOE...
Today we know this 5 headed fiend as...
The Vampire Toes !
Inspired by my disgustingly pale feet.
Webcomics, short stories, and more @ cartercomics.com
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Zombie Smurf
Zombie smurf is the product of Gargamel's dark sorcery. He wants to smurf your brains.
Webcomics, short stories, and more @ cartercomics.com
Monday, October 03, 2005
Sunday, October 02, 2005
Grizzly Shark !
Nature knows no predator more ferocious than the Grizzly Shark !
Webcomics, short stories, and more @ cartercomics.com
Saturday, October 01, 2005
Widow Maker
The first of 31 Monsters of Halloween. Thought I'd start with a scary one.
Webcomics, short stories, and more @ cartercomics.com
Friday, September 30, 2005
Halloweenification !
Welcome to the Carter Comics Blog, Halloween Style.
As Halloween is the bestest and mostest funnest holiday ever, I will be bringing you all sorts of ghastly pictures, links, and stories for the month of October.
I will also unveil 31 Original creations: The 31 Monsters of Halloween!
I will post a new original monster every day - Monsters from weeks past will haunt the "31 Monsters" links in the right side of the page.
Happy October !
Webcomics, short stories, and more @ cartercomics.com
As Halloween is the bestest and mostest funnest holiday ever, I will be bringing you all sorts of ghastly pictures, links, and stories for the month of October.
I will also unveil 31 Original creations: The 31 Monsters of Halloween!
I will post a new original monster every day - Monsters from weeks past will haunt the "31 Monsters" links in the right side of the page.
Happy October !
Webcomics, short stories, and more @ cartercomics.com
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Fem-bots at last
The geniuses at Kokoro Dreams have created the Actroid,
"A female-type reception robot... bearing a striking resemblance to a woman with a good command of four languages".
The Actroid can speak and understand conversations in English, Korean, Chinese, and Japanese.
The actroid comes in Renee Zellweger 'Down with Love' style:
And sexy leather clad Catherine Zeta Jones style:
Click here for video
But be warned: "She will be dissappointed and sulky if she is mocked".
And then she'll tell her brother:
"A female-type reception robot... bearing a striking resemblance to a woman with a good command of four languages".
The Actroid can speak and understand conversations in English, Korean, Chinese, and Japanese.
The actroid comes in Renee Zellweger 'Down with Love' style:
And sexy leather clad Catherine Zeta Jones style:
Click here for video
But be warned: "She will be dissappointed and sulky if she is mocked".
And then she'll tell her brother:
I'm sure with their smart and sexy fem-bots, Kokoro Dreams will be very successful, and then they can create what they call "Fun-Fun Robot World" filled with friendly robots like this:
Get more ROBOTS in the Robot Archives
Webcomics, short stories, and more @ cartercomics.com
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