The Matrix doesn't have you

I used to answer the phones at MGM. Many, many of the people who called were either dim-witted, insane, or both.

Here are some transcripts of my favorite calls presented for posterity:

Ring…Ring…

Me: MGM

Angry Caller: Who IS THIS?! (That is the most common response I receive when someone calls up MGM and I answer “MGM”, by the way.)

ME: MGM.

AC: Who is this, what department is this?

ME: This is reception. How may I direct your call?

AC: Put me through to the people who made the Matrix!

ME: Sorry, we didn’t make The Matrix.

AC: Well WHO DID?!

ME: Sorry, you’ll have to look that up for yourself.

AC: Well why can’t you just tell me?

ME: That’s not our movie, you’ll have to look that up yourself.

AC: Well why can’t you just tell me?

ME: You’ll have to look that up yourself.

AC: Why won’t you tell me?

ME: Why don’t you look it up yourself?

AC: Well what department can I call, who do I call?

ME: Why do you have to call anyone? You can find this information easily anywhere.

AC: I have to find out who made The Matrix. You’re a production person, why don’t you tell me?

ME: Uh, you’ll have to look it up yourself. You can get just about any magazine at a newsstand and get this information.

AC: I have a newsstand! I have a newspaper! It doesn’t say who made it!

ME: Well, it will only take a short time to find this information.

AC: I don’t have a short time, I’m dying!

ME: It will still be easy to find out on your own.

AC: But you know, so why won’t you won’t tell me?

ME: Uh…You’ll have to look that up for yourself.

AC: Chicken sh*t.

CLICK

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