Communication Breakdown

I used to answer the phones at MGM. Many, many of the people who called were either dim-witted, insane, or both.

Here are some transcripts of my favorite calls:


Ring…Ring….

ME: MGM.

UNEDUCATED L.A. CALLER: Is Jenneer there?

ME: Jeneer?

ULC: Is Jenneer there?

ME: Jeneer who?

ULC: Um…damn. I don’t know.

ME: What department?

ULC: Um…is he there?

ME: What does he do?

ULC: Gets the records out.

ME: You’re looking for records?

ULC: He gets the records out.

ME: What kind of records?

ULC: Um....you know...Doctor Dre, Eminem.

ME: So he’s in the music department?

ULC: Yeah.

ME: Can you spell that first name for me?

ULC: Jeneer.

ME: Can you spell it for me?

ULC: You know…J – R.

ME: Junior?

ULC: Yeah, Jeneer.

ME; Oh, Junior. Okay, but what’s his real first name? I don’t have anyone listed under ‘Junior’.

ULC: He said that was his name.

ME: Yeah, but I don’t think that’s a legal first name. It’s a nickname. Do you know his name?

ULC: Uh…damn. He’s Hispanic.

ME: Okay.

ULC: He’s 21. Is he there?

ME: I don’t have a list of Hispanic 21 yr olds in front of me.

ULC: Uh…damn. Okay.

CLICK.

RING…RING…

ME: MGM.

MEXICAN CALLER: Uh…MGM?

ME: Yes, MGM.

MC: Uhhhh…Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer?

ME: Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer.

MC: What to for the place different pictures?

ME: …..I’m sorry. I don’t understand your question.

MC: Thank you.

CLICK.

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